Better Ethical Judgment?

Do you like to kill animals? It is often, if not cliched, the little boy torturing animals and insects in a shed image of future serial killers we have ingrained in our minds. Of course, I am not like that, you say. There are some who would assert that the mere act of eating meat puts you into this category (ish). I eat meat. I also go through bouts of vegetarianism, veganism, raw-ism, fruitarianism, health fanaticism. Part of my soul is a dancing hippie, with long flowing hair, my peasant skirt full of puffs of air, and absolutely no top. Bare breasts in sun drenched mountain-top goodness. Yeah, man. But I eat that meat, sometimes. I love the bite of a fresh, pink steak, moist and flavor-bursting murder. It’s sick when you think of it. In the States I never come near the actual butchering of an animal. Doesn’t this make me worse? Not only am I eating (and often times unconsciously binging) upon a once living being, but I force the dirty work of killing the animal on to someone else, someone poorer, desperate for work, work that exposes him/her to the bacterias and physical dangers of the meat processing industry, but also, I imagine, the soul-scraping day to day reality of ending life. If I cannot push myself to do my own dirty work, do I have the right to enjoy my steak? I ask this question as if it were rhetorical, but it’s not a rhetorical question, in fact the answer is quite plain and obvious if you’d just admit that to yourself. No.

Here, it’s a bit better. Chickens roam around free to scratch where they please, until mama comes out and steps on it’s wing and chops its head off. It’s not forced fed, processed, or wrapped in plastic. But it is dead.

I have an image of myself, that does not match reality. There are times when I really get on a roll, and I am that healthy, hard working, giving soul, but then it all comes crashing down. I eat melted cheese, and roasted meat on sticks, fried chickens, fish… And you know what? It’s never as good as I imagine it to be.

If I had the chance I’d ask the world to Dance

I would bet that many of you, myself included, like to believe that you are good, moral people in our hearts.  The kind of person who would stand up against wrong in any form; would catch a bullet for a stranger if in that particular circumstance; would fess up for a catastrophe no matter how humiliating.  Yes, well, today I found myself in a situation and I reacted well below my own expectations.  And I am ashamed.  My perpetually pregnant cat, Pagoda, came in through the window with a lively, wriggly lizard and was playing with it.  Me (no longer a tom boy since the onset of puberty) was completely grossed out and squeamish so asked a neighbor girl playing on the front porch to assist (clue number one that I am not as noble as I’d like to think).  And here’s the whopper: not only did she come in to get that sucker, she came in and proceeded to beat the shit out of it with her legless, armless doll.  That’s right, a skinny young girl beating a lizard on my dining room floor with a Sally Talks A Lot who’s seen better days.  And what did I do during all this?  Stood on a chair and looked away.  Alas.  There it is, I am a despicable human being.  Not only an “animal lover” but stood by and did nothing as a lizard (a namesake!) was bludgeoned to death with a child’s toy–by a child.  This is going to do wonders for my karma.

In another somewhat related note: Perpetually Pregnant Pagoda has become a serial killer and I condone the behavior by cleaning up after her.  Most kills (small mice) are food and I think that’s awesome and nutritious for her, but lately she will bring in a dead rat (and I mean huge stinking rats), decapitate them, disembowel them, and leave the whole mess for me to find in always the secret and surprising location (i.e. bookshelves, under dining room table, etc).  It’s become a rather disturbing pattern, and I have been contemplating turning her in (for her own good of course).  Gosh I hope she doesn’t read this…

A bit o’ good news!  We got the deed for the adjacent parcel of land (finally!) and it’s off to get the plans and budget to post my PCPP and start begging for money.  I’m going to get the price down as low and reasonable as possible, but it’s going to be quite the challenge coming up with the money.  I’m anticipating (and hopefully overestimating) around 20,000 USD for the two buildings.  Can we build an orphanage in less than a year?  I say we can!  Stay attentive for new information.


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And finally I leave you with some pictures of a funerailles party in Dschang.  This was a funeral held on November 20th for a man who died in 1988.  Yes, you read correctly.  Always a good party! Cheers.